Maybe
you're like me and you've had battles with anxiety in your life. I've
always operated as a multi-tasker, and maybe even took a little bit
of pride in it. These days everyone we see walks around checking
their planner on a smart phone, but I did this with my PDA long
before the smart phone became popular. Prior to this I always used a
day planner with actual paper and ink (Today you may see one in a
museum). There is nothing wrong in planning out your day, week,
month, and year. In fact it is really a necessary thing to do. A
person can become obsessive about it however, and when too much is
put on the agenda, this is when it can become a problem.
I'll
never forget one particular evening years ago, when I laid down on my bed, and
after reflecting over and over on the problems, tasks, and projects
in life, and how there were just so many things I had to do, I began
to get really light-headed, I felt as if the bed was spinning, and a
sense of fear came over me as I found it difficult to breathe. My
first thought was that I was experiencing a heart attack, so I yelled
for my wife and with her help she got me to the hospital emergency
room.
Wasting
no time they checked my blood pressure to find it was very high. They
did an EKG on me, obtained blood samples, and asked me many
questions. After running more tests, and ruling out a heart attack I
began to feel more at ease. After so many questions and tests were
given, they finally were ready to tell me what they had concluded.
The doctor said, “Mr. Tedford, I believe you have suffered what
they call – a panic attack.”
This
really came as a surprise to me as I'd never saw it coming. I was
under a lot of stress, but never to the extent that it had ever
physically affected me before.
I described this experience to my
pastor, who had also been through this experience. He gave me some
good, practical, advice and explained that I needed to try to scale
back on the number of projects I was taking on. He then gave me the
spiritual advice of taking the extra time gained, and giving it to
Jesus, which meant simply spending time with Him – not doing
ministry. It
wasn't just tasks in my life that I had to let go of. There were a
lot of problems that were simply beyond my control. I had to learn to
give these things to Jesus and carry them no more myself. I thought of what
Jesus said in the Bible... 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I
believe that if anyone knew about stress it had to be Jesus. He
traveled from town to town in a very high profile ministry, had
people some occasions try to kill Him, and had to endure 12 various
personalities, and all the while knowing that He was heading to a
Roman scourging and crucifixion. I don't think anyone I know has this
much to think about, but yet Jesus kept His focus on His Father's
agenda and didn't let anything keep Him from accomplishing it.
As
I pondered over the meaning of what Jesus said, it occurred to me
that He was talking to me, for I'm weary... I'm burdened... and He
did say “ALL” so this included me! So Jesus' invitation was to
me, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest...” I began to understand that just like Jesus, if I
could be more focused about what was eternal, and not so focused on
what is temporal, then things might begin to fall into better
priority in my life.
With
this in mind I immediately looked over some of the tasks I was doing
and some of them seemed to lose their importance when held up to the
light of Heaven, and I had to simply let some things go. This didn't
happen overnight, however slowly but surely I got there, and with my
goal being to have a simple life with Jesus, I'm a lot less stressed
out today than I used to be.
This
was again put to the test in my life in 2008, when I was laid off
from my job at the County Treasurer's office. I then went for 3
months before finding a job. I felt the stress levels increase like
never before, and it was a definite low point in my life. When I
finally had exhausted all of my earthly efforts, and sent out my last
resume, I finally gave it to Jesus. This wasn't so much a negative “I
give up” attitude, but more like a “Here Lord, You can have it,
for I place my trust in You” attitude. It was only then that I got
the phone call that I was looking for, and found work.
As
I look back now I ask myself what took me so long? Then I think about
how God likes to prove His goodness to us over and over again. It was
necessary for me to exhaust everything if it meant me seeing that it
was God, and NOT me, that landed me the job. He once again proves it
to me that He is my provider. It is then when I also think of Jesus'
words again...
Matthew 6:25-34,
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
My Grandpa Adam Davis was a living illustration of this to me. Although this battered World War 2 veteran lost his wife to diabetes early in their marriage, scarcely found work in the mines while living in the poverty of the Appalachian Mountains, and had to place his 3 daughters (one stricken with polio) in a Children's home, he knew where his source of strength could be found. In the toughest times of his life, Adam knew that Jesus was his source of strength. Later in life he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and I had the privilege of living with him then and assisting him. During this time I remember often seeing him overwhelmed with tears of joy as he felt the presence of God while praying.
His son-in-law and daughter, Ronald & Judy, who were his caregivers in the end, also noted that he held onto his faith in Christ to the very end of his struggle with cancer. Although I was many miles away at the time, I'm told that he held onto his life in the hospital until his daughter Vernia (my mother), arrived via Greyhound Bus, he spoke to her, then just like the prophets of old went to be with the Lord. As Adam waived away the oxygen mask, his next breath would be the sweet air of Heaven. That is what I call finishing well, for Adam had his focus placed on what is eternal, and even at the point of death, he was in perfect peace. My grandpa's attitude was much like that of the apostle Paul, who said, O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? (1 Corinthians 15:55)
Gideon was hiding
in a winepress to protect himself, and the wheat he was threshing,
from the Midianites. It was then that an angel of God appeared to him
saying, “The LORD is with you, O valiant warrior.” Then Gideon
said to him, “O my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all
this happened to us? …the LORD has abandoned us and given us into
the hand of Midian.” The LORD looked at him and said, “Go in this
your strength and deliver Israel from the hand of Midian. Have I not
sent you?” (Judges 6:12-14) After more discussion
Gideon built an altar to the LORD and named it The LORD is Peace.
(Judges 6:22-24) Gideon did this because this was the very name that
God had spoken to him using – Jehovah-shalom! Gideon was living in
fear and anxiety when God came to him and spoke. Gideon had no peace
in his own strength, but God came to him and gave him His peace.
Gideon had encountered Jehovah-shalom (The Lord is peace).
We cannot base our
peace on the situations we face in life. Some seek peace in a bottle
of beer, wine or whiskey. Some seek it in the use of drugs. Some people seek for peace in a
relationship with a man or woman, but no matter how much you love
that person, they cannot bring you the peace that only God can bring. Our hobbies, family, money, physical health, and other temporal things (although they are good things on earth), are not enough in comparison to the eternal peace that comes from God, our Jehovah-shalom.
As Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:14, “He Himself is our peace.” Once you understand this and worship God as the God of peace, our Jehovah-shalom, you can gain access to the peace that comes from (and is) Jesus Himself, Who can speak to the wind and the waves, and calm the storms of anxiety that rage in your life.
Jesus left His disciples a promise: “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Do not let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27)
Jesus didn't promise that there would be no problems in this world, but He did show us where we can draw our strength from during these times. Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
What is it that is causing your anxiety? Maybe you can't even put your finger on it. It's okay... Look to Jesus... for He is the Prince of Peace.
Be sure to also check out the blog: Jesus - The Prince of Peace
Shalom!
