As a young child the
individual has just recently become self aware, and have been learning
discipline from the parent(s). During all this time they are completely
dependent on the parents for everything. A big milestone in their
development is about to take place in their life, and there will be
needs that the parent cannot meet for them. During these changes the
parent may become frustrated as they may feel the need to be needed, and
the teen will push away as they seek to become more independent. Of course I'm talking about those dreaded teen years (13 to 19 years old ), but trust me, you can get through this. You just need to know what to expect before it happens.
You may be amazed to find that suddenly, your teen knows everything, and yes, this means your teen will becoming increasingly argumentative. Even the smallest, most insignificant things will become a platform for them to assert their knowledge onto you, and you will most likely lose your cool, and so will they. This is because the teen is pushing for his or her independence and this means they want to be right about some things, but most of all, they want to prove to you that you don't know everything. My advice??? Let them be right once in a while, and don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong. Lose a battle in order to win the war. Also, let them know that whether you are right or wrong, you are still the parent, and you still make the decisions. While putting this out there, you need to let them also know they are going to be getting their independence a little at a time, and that you want them to be responsible.Trust me when I say you are only just getting started. There will be mood swings, new trends, styles, irritability, rolling eyes, and much more to come. Try to have patience with them, for their body is going through hormonal changes, and this is a lot of the reason behind their behavior. Still yet, don't be afraid to stand your ground, for you are the parent.
Beginning with puberty, this transitional period called adolescence (teenage) begins, and the individual will begin changing from a child into an adult. The elementary school that the individual once attended will soon be a thing of the past, and they will attend a middle school or junior high. The individual will find that there may be new students to meet, and new friends to make. This new social environment will divide into smaller groups, and there will be a longing for acceptance like never before. The school will become a social battleground of sorts, and there will be many social heroes and social casualties. There will be bullies, and there will be the bullied. The parents will try to understand as best they can, but the adolescent will not let them in all the time. There will be needs that the parent cannot meet, and frustration.
Having been on both sides of this situation as an adolescent who has experienced it, and as a parent who has seen his daughter, and his two sons go through this transitional period (each in different ways), I believe that there are some pointers that I can now offer to parents about what to do and what not to do.
Not listed in order of importance:
(1) Give them an atmosphere of communication, and listen more than you talk.
(2) Admit to them that you cannot fix their every problem, but you are willing to help if ever needed.
(3) Let them know that you’ve been there. Be honest and transparent, sharing both your good decisions, and bad decisions when you were in their shoes.
(4)And finally, give them their space. Allow them some opportunities to be independent, and expand as they make the right choices and become more responsible. Also shrink their boundaries as they make the wrong decisions. Let them in on your method, so that they know they are the one that is empowered with their independence, by the actions they do, and choices they make.
You may be amazed to find that suddenly, your teen knows everything, and yes, this means your teen will becoming increasingly argumentative. Even the smallest, most insignificant things will become a platform for them to assert their knowledge onto you, and you will most likely lose your cool, and so will they. This is because the teen is pushing for his or her independence and this means they want to be right about some things, but most of all, they want to prove to you that you don't know everything. My advice??? Let them be right once in a while, and don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong. Lose a battle in order to win the war. Also, let them know that whether you are right or wrong, you are still the parent, and you still make the decisions. While putting this out there, you need to let them also know they are going to be getting their independence a little at a time, and that you want them to be responsible.Trust me when I say you are only just getting started. There will be mood swings, new trends, styles, irritability, rolling eyes, and much more to come. Try to have patience with them, for their body is going through hormonal changes, and this is a lot of the reason behind their behavior. Still yet, don't be afraid to stand your ground, for you are the parent.
Beginning with puberty, this transitional period called adolescence (teenage) begins, and the individual will begin changing from a child into an adult. The elementary school that the individual once attended will soon be a thing of the past, and they will attend a middle school or junior high. The individual will find that there may be new students to meet, and new friends to make. This new social environment will divide into smaller groups, and there will be a longing for acceptance like never before. The school will become a social battleground of sorts, and there will be many social heroes and social casualties. There will be bullies, and there will be the bullied. The parents will try to understand as best they can, but the adolescent will not let them in all the time. There will be needs that the parent cannot meet, and frustration.
Having been on both sides of this situation as an adolescent who has experienced it, and as a parent who has seen his daughter, and his two sons go through this transitional period (each in different ways), I believe that there are some pointers that I can now offer to parents about what to do and what not to do.
Not listed in order of importance:
(1) Give them an atmosphere of communication, and listen more than you talk.
(2) Admit to them that you cannot fix their every problem, but you are willing to help if ever needed.
(3) Let them know that you’ve been there. Be honest and transparent, sharing both your good decisions, and bad decisions when you were in their shoes.
(4)And finally, give them their space. Allow them some opportunities to be independent, and expand as they make the right choices and become more responsible. Also shrink their boundaries as they make the wrong decisions. Let them in on your method, so that they know they are the one that is empowered with their independence, by the actions they do, and choices they make.
